Can I just say that my expectations, however high or low they were, of the people, facilities, and opportunities that would be available to Olivia and kids like her have been blown out of the water. In a good way. I know that living in a metro area has a lot to do with that. But the care, concern, and energy it takes for people, besides our family, to give her these opportunities is a complete miracle to me. People care for Olivia, and lots of kids like her, they care for us and they are willing to go so far out of their way to show it. We are in awe--constantly of this fact. And that leads us to preschool.
I know we've gushed about it before. How perfect CCVI preschool is for Olivia, her needs-- emotionally, medically, and therapeutically... Well, I won't continue that conversation. Today is about how I feel about sending her to preschool.
Scared. Excited. Nervous. Anxious. Some in good ways and some in bad. Not that has anything to do with the people or facility, but I'm used to being the only one caring for Olivia. Like ever. Now I am leaving her with someone (a lot of very qualified someones) and missing out on things she is doing, parts of her day-- both the good and the bad. Will she fall asleep because she had too many seizures? Will she make friends? Will she choke tasting food? Will she cry? Will she accomplish a new milestone that I miss? I realize mostly all regular fears for moms sending their kids to preschool-- but its new for me and I'm compensating with chocolate. In cookie and liquid form.
So, I'm ready for the criticism. Its August (though 70 degrees right now, which feels like 50). And 10:45 in the morning. But listen, not normally being a chocolate eater or drinker--I am out of orange juice, my drink of choice lately, and so I am left with water (which I am drinking while the hot chocolate cools down). I also don't normally eat cookies, especially with chocolate in them, but I gotta shout out to my girl, Jami, who made them with love and then conspicuously sent several home with my husband last night. They are delicious, but the more I eat, the fewer he will. That sounds legitimate, right? Thanks, Jami, for my extra 300 calories today. My baby thanks you too.
And, tomorrow we see an echo of the baby's heart, maybe some other stuff, and find out what we're having. Oh hell, watch out. I just might blog two days in a row!!!
hilarious. oh hell, get it girl! so excited for livi!!! i wonder how many boyfriends she'll aquire.
ReplyDeleteSending them off is always tough. Just as tough when you do it again with younger children and almost as tough when they move from one grade or classroom to another. You have a perfect coping food. I read that children's food choices are often influenced by what what their moms ate during pregnancy. If this is a girl, you've already introduced her to the coping food of choice. Surely Brian is much more concerned with you being happy than having his own chocolate cookies - right?
ReplyDeleteI just quit my job as a special needs preschool SLP, but I have to say, that was the best job EVER. It was so much fun to work with kids with such great strengths and needs...you will be amazed at the opportunities Olivia will get there and the progress she will surprise you with! One of my favorite parts was working with the parents who were supportive of their children and showed a lot of understanding and compassion. Those teachers/therapists are sure lucky to be working with Olivia and you and Brian!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to get your next update about your baby!
I am so excited to hear about Baby Key #2. And, I totally understand your anxiety about preschool - Max goes this fall and although I am looking forward to it, I have a totally different set up fears. It is pretty hard to send that fella into the world without me. I want to be his protector forever.
ReplyDeleteRenee