Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Life lessons for mommy

So, my daughter has really changed a lot since she turned 2. I know it doesn't make any sense, but hear me out...

  • She is actually sleeping less. 1 nap a day max 4 hrs.
  • She is not content just relaxing any more. She is making purposeful movements with her hands and fingers to try and manipulate toys or whatever is striking her interest.
  • She is holding her head up ALL the time without letting it lag backwards. Up til 2 weeks ago she would let her head lag back all the way if she was tired.
We have so much to be thankful for in the past few weeks. Watching her change and develop is wonderful, but part of it is also hard. Sure it was difficult to see her make no intentional movements, but I think we got used to it. Now, it is so hard to watch her try to do things that her body is not letting her do. She is learning how to control her appendages but it is taxing because the seizures have confused her brain about how to move the rest of her body. Its painful for me to watch her struggle and get frustrated when she can't tell me what she wants or can't get it for herself. Its in those times she looks the most "disabled" and I'm ashamed to admit that is difficult for me.

The only feeling overriding that one is the pride I feel that she never, ever gives up. Monday in her vision therapy session she worked for 30 minutes to pick up and put down this light stick. It took sometimes up to 2 minutes for each part of the action, but she did it. I'll have to say I think I gave up before she did. My patience was tried and I kept waiting and waiting, fighting the urge to do it for her. But she proved me wrong. She can do it, she just needs some patience and support from me. Monday night we went on a family date to dinner and Livi sat in her chair at the table with us. I laid some toys out on the off chance she might want to play. Play she did. Pick up things, put them down, move slowly to touch it with the opposite hand, put it down, find it again, pick it back up. There was a lot of that. This picture is me holding the toy, but she wanted it back--you can tell.