A step in the right direction

I mean, I know I don't need to say it, but awesome weather, right? We had a fabulous holiday weekend with my family. Brian preached two of the three services on Sunday and then Monday was beautiful so we headed out (along with half of Kansas City) to the zoo. Livi and I played in the shade while Brian got us some lunch...

The post title is really more about me than Livi-- sorry grandmas! Livi actually hasn't had a great couple of days. More seizures than usual and some other bodily function problems that we are currently working on eliminating. (two guesses) Preschool today was less than stellar because of all of these issues and yet, I found myself thinking 'what a wonderful day despite how Olivia is doing'. I know that sounds strange, but for the past 2 1/2 years my life has completely revolved around the kind of day Olivia was having. Horrible, I know. But its honest. But today---today even though I knew Livi wasn't doing really well at preschool I left there from dropping her off and happened to have an impromptu walk with Brian from work to lunch at McCoys on the deck on the most beautiful day of the year. The whole day has been such a blessing and I am finally learning to be my own person. (Thanks mom, also for reminding me that will only be the case for the next three months. Thanks a lot!)

Yay for the McCoy's patio.

And definitely yay for this man! I love him so much!

We LOVE preschool!!!

So, we've all "collected our thoughts" since the last blog post. Especially Olivia. Thursday and today went GREAT at school! All of the teachers and therapists are so encouraging! I actually wasn't even planning on taking her to school today. She had another flare up of allergies on Sunday and hasn't really gotten over it. At 11 she woke up from her nap yelling at me, wide awake, and not coughing or sneezing, so I was the skeezy mother who took her kid to preschool late without taking a shower. Nice, huh? And, it all worked out because she had a GREAT day! So, here are the pics to go with my thoughts...

 In case you can't tell, this is Olivia and my big 24 week belly. Livi was saying hi to her sister, and her sister was emphatically saying hi back. Well, either hi or get off me. Hard to tell.

 After preschool on Thursday watching the Royals with daddy. Good times.

And this is mommy being lazy. My phone was acting crazy about rotating this so this is the picture, a little crookedy. Is that a word? Anyway, this is a big deal because this is Olivia's very first picture EVER! YAY!

Well, Olivia is yelling at me about something and she is making Tugger sigh and lay on the floor, so I better straighten things out. Can't wait to see Grandma, Grandpa, Aunt Mal, Uncle Allen, and Aunt Amy and Uncle Phil this weekend. PARTAY!

First Day of Preschool

So, it didn't go quite like I had hoped. I actually almost didn't even take her this afternoon because her allergies were so bad the night before that she barely got any sleep. I did take her and she slept through at least some of it, but if I got 4 hours of sleep the night before I think I would sleep through preschool too. We just started her on some allergy medicine today, so I'm hoping that makes Thursday's preschool adventure a little better. Nevertheless, we took her and took a few pictures...don't get excited...she's sleeping in all of them.

Maybe my expectations were too high for today. I think I just wanted a "regular-ish" preschool experience. Just a regularish something for Olivia. Well, maybe it was for me too. Today, when I knew she wasn't feeling well and was really tired I left dropping her off at preschool heartbroken. Even here, where there are other kids like her, she was "different". I know it was just one day. I know there will be plenty of days when she has a fabulous time totally awake at preschool, but it was a very difficult afternoon for me. I think I was hoping we would just fit in today. Probably just hoping that for myself. God is teaching me a lot of things, but I am a reluctant student, especially lately. I just want what I want what I want. You know?

We'll get there, both Olivia and I. She will have a great time at preschool most of the time, and eventually I will continue to love the life that God has given to us.

Hello, world!

Hey everybody! I'm ornery just like my sister and the dr. had to piss me off and push on me to get me to switch positions. So then I punched my mom a lot. Everything looks perfect on me so far. Just like my big sister! Maybe thats because we're both GIRLS!!!

Thats right. Another lady in the house will be making her appearance in a few short months. I will be continuing to go to the perinatologist in addition to my OBGYN monthly until the babes #2 is born just to keep checking on her....HER....ha!

My kid? In Preschool?

Lord help us. It looks like the last of the meetings are out of the way and this preschool thing might actually happen, which is great since they start in less than 2 weeks!

Can I just say that my expectations, however high or low they were, of the people, facilities, and opportunities that would be available to Olivia and kids like her have been blown out of the water. In a good way. I know that living in a metro area has a lot to do with that. But the care, concern, and energy it takes for people, besides our family, to give her these opportunities is a complete miracle to me. People care for Olivia, and lots of kids like her, they care for us and they are willing to go so far out of their way to show it. We are in awe--constantly of this fact. And that leads us to preschool.

I know we've gushed about it before. How perfect CCVI preschool is for Olivia, her needs-- emotionally, medically, and therapeutically... Well, I won't continue that conversation. Today is about how I feel about sending her to preschool.

Scared. Excited. Nervous. Anxious. Some in good ways and some in bad. Not that has anything to do with the people or facility, but I'm used to being the only one caring for Olivia. Like ever. Now I am leaving her with someone (a lot of very qualified someones) and missing out on things she is doing, parts of her day-- both the good and the bad. Will she fall asleep because she had too many seizures? Will she make friends? Will she choke tasting food? Will she cry? Will she accomplish a new milestone that I miss? I realize mostly all regular fears for moms sending their kids to preschool-- but its new for me and I'm compensating with chocolate. In cookie and liquid form.

So, I'm ready for the criticism. Its August (though 70 degrees right now, which feels like 50). And 10:45 in the morning. But listen, not normally being a chocolate eater or drinker--I am out of orange juice, my drink of choice lately, and so I am left with water (which I am drinking while the hot chocolate cools down). I also don't normally eat cookies, especially with chocolate in them, but I gotta shout out to my girl, Jami, who made them with love and then conspicuously sent several home with my husband last night. They are delicious, but the more I eat, the fewer he will. That sounds legitimate, right? Thanks, Jami, for my extra 300 calories today. My baby thanks you too.

And, tomorrow we see an echo of the baby's heart, maybe some other stuff, and find out what we're having. Oh hell, watch out. I just might blog two days in a row!!!

Anniversaries and other stuff

I've gone and done it again--waited too long to blog so now I have all this stuff to say...

First of all, a happy 5th anniversary to my wonderful husband. We are not the people we were 5 years ago. In a lot of ways we're better because of each other, and because of Olivia. My appreciation for Brian goes so much deeper than I could have ever thought the day we got married. I count myself extremely lucky and wonderfully blessed to have him in my life.

Secondly, I know you all are on the edge of your seats, but you only have to wait until next Thursday to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. We really don't have a guess and we really don't care which. Just to be safe, they will be doing an echo of the baby's heart in addition to some other measurements just to make sure everything is okay because of Olivia's history.

I probably mostly haven't been blogging for two reasons: 1. Its been so flipp'n hot we haven't been going anywhere or doing anything unnecessary for the last month or so. So, no cute pool or park or zoo pictures, but hopefully to come. 2. I LOVE helping Olivia walk and crawl, both of which she is improving on and wanting to do more often. This is awesome, but if we do that for about an hour before Brian gets home I can barely hold my head up for dinner time. Its one thing to crawl around on the floor with her, but to bear both her weight and my extra weight while maneuvering is tiring.

AND, since I can't help her do these things and video or photograph it all by myself, here are some pics from today hanging out with daddy after an afternoon of running errands...

Please excuse the lack of pants on Olivia. When we get home in the afternoon in the summer thats just how we roll...diaper only.

We're back...and tan

So its been a while. We had Brian's parents visiting us the three weeks ago and then we left with my family to our wonderful vacation in the Outer Banks, NC for a week. We just got home Saturday night. We are exhausted but we are in one piece, more tan, and fatter. Well, maybe just me. 19 weeks and counting!

Will post more pics later this week. The 3 amigos in the far left picture are Brian, Philip (my brother), and Allen (my brother-in-law). They spent the week boogie boarding on the beach just steps from our house. We are so blessed to have such wonderful family!